My (Movie-Related) Letter to Santa

Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

I guess I’ve been good this year. I ran a marathon in aid of dying kids; that’s pretty good I think you’ll agree. And anything naughty I did, well, it wasn’t my fault, honest. I mean, I thought airlines just frowned upon that kind of thing. I didn’t realise it was illegal. And how was I supposed to know what is and what isn’t a suitable house pet. I realised it after a few weeks anyway.

Anyway, taking into account all the good stuff I’ve done, I was wondering if you could have a read over my letter and see if you and your elves could make my movie dreams come true for 2013. I would like:

1. For my local cinemas to show a wider variety of films

This is my main wish. If you only grant one, I want it to be this one. I have two local cinemas – a Vue and a Cineworld. Spoilt for choice you may think, but not so. Both cinemas, for the large part, only show the big blockbusters. This is understandable to a point, as these are the films that are likely to be more popular. Supply and demand – I get that. However, I have missed out on a fair few films this year largely because they have either been bumped completely or have been given dodgy show times to make room for extra showings of other films. Just recently, I missed out on The Imposter, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Ruby Sparks, and Rust and Bone, all films I was looking forward to seeing. My local Cineworld didn’t even show Argo or The Master at all – two of the most anticipated films of the year.

Therefore, Santa, in 2013 I would appreciate it if you could have a word with the men in suits at these cinemas and ask them nicely to show a wider selection. I would love to be able to travel for an hour to another cinema but I simply don’t have the time.

2. For NetFlix UK to sort itself out

Here in the UK, NetFlix is still a relatively new service and, at first glance, it appears to be an excellent service with loads of stuff to watch. However, scratch the surface and it really isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. The US service dwarfs the UK version and the rate that we get new stuff is pretty slow. There are still a few gems on there that I haven’t checked out, but I’d like more of an indication that they are committed to adding new and up-to-date stuff, not just documentaries that have been around for ten years or crappy straight to DVD releases. The US version has recently signed a deal with Disney and has had an influx of of Disney films recently. I’m a little confused as to why the UK service does not work the same way. I know I could biff NetFlix off and go elsewhere but the only other streaming service out there is LoveFilm, which has its own problems. I would rent more films from iTunes or wherever, but as the UK doesn’t have widespread fibreoptic Internet, it can take literally hours to download a film. First world problems, eh?

3. For other cinema-goers to learn some manners

Of course, I know this does not relate to any of my fellow bloggers; we know how things go down once the lights do (not as seedy as it sounds). However, not everyone is as considerate as we are, and I would very much like some cinema-goers to just take a minute to think about other people who are also watching the film. Do we want to hear their conversation? No. Do we want to be distracted by them checking your Facebook? Definitely not. How about I constantly kick the back of their set and see how they like it.

4. More time

I realise I’m pushing it with this one, but I would absolutely love a bit more time to squeeze in more films. I’d watch films every single day if I could but time simply does not permit this. Sometimes I’m lucky if I watch more than a film a week. So, Santa, if you could somehow magically make it so I have more time, that’d be great. Obviously, this doesn’t mean getting me sacked from my job. I know what you’re thinking.

5. The Stanley Kubrick Blu-ray collection

This would be ace. I think you can probably get it off Amazon.

So there we Santa; those are my Christmas wishes. I know you’re pretty busy this time of the year but if you could see what you could do, I’d appreciate it. I’ll make sure to leave an extra mince pie out for you.

Best wishes,

Chris (aka Terry Malloy)

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44 thoughts on “My (Movie-Related) Letter to Santa

  1. ckckred says:

    It always ticks me off that most theaters play only big studio films instead of small independent movies. It was hard for me to find a screening of Beasts of the Southern Wild. I think I have all of Kubrick’s films on Blu-Ray except Eyes Wide Shut, Lolita, and Fear and Desire (which are also the only Kubrick films I haven’t seen).

    • It has become one of my biggest annoyances now I think. I’ve decided that if I win the lottery, I’m going to open my own cinema, it’d be the best job in the world!

      I don’t own any of Kubrick’s stuff on BR yet. I have everything except Fear and Desire on DVD but haven’t upgraded yet. Definitely going to have to make the plunge soon though.

  2. Tyson Carter says:

    Whilst your asking, do you think you could ask him to make Tarantino release Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair on blu ray right now please? :)

  3. Hunter says:

    Right with you on number three. Seeing Life of Pi and Hitchcock this year especially sucked for me because of fellow audience members that were just obnoxious. I usually try to go to matinees to avoid this problem, but sometimes it can’t be helped.
    And right now I have this problem where I can’t see Zero Dark Thirty until January. I live in a major city so this shouldn’t be a problem, which is making me all the more annoyed about it….
    More time would also be absolutely lovely. I’m going to get that with three weeks of Christmas break, but after that I know I will have NONE.
    Hope Santa delivers for you!

    • I just don’t understand why people go to the cinema if they’re just going to talk through it, and if you can’t go a couple of hours without looking at your phone, then I think you have a problem. Heathens! I wish I was a little more vocal in my disapproval though, i tend to just sit there and suffer in silence.
      I only have 10 days off over Xmas and most of that will be filled with family (don’t they always get in the way?!) but I’m hoping I can check out a few things over the holidays.

  4. mformariya says:

    LOL…I think this is the best letter to Santa I’ve ever read :D

  5. Nostra says:

    Nice list…wish that things like Netflix and LoveFilm would also be released in the Netherlands and are as awesome as in the US. Plus I would like Santa to get me a copy of a documentary which was never released and can be found in a library in Florida….

  6. Ryan says:

    I live in a small town and it seriously has one of the worst theaters I’ve ever been in. They hardly get anything worth seeing except for like what you said the “big” blockbusters. This is why I wish every movie got a VOD option simply because it isnt fair that big cities and what not are the only places people get to watch limited releases. Send Santa my way; it would be appreciated!

    • That must really suck man, maybe my predicament isn’t so bad after all. Very frustrating though, I agree. There could definitely be a way that they could offer a VOD service for films though, although it might make people not go to the cinema. Could be a way around it though.
      If I bump into Santa I’ll send him in your direction :-)

  7. I think that this is a list we can all get behind! :D I want Santa to hook us up too!

  8. Eric says:

    Heh, that Kubrick Blu-ray collection is on my list as well. Would love to get my hands on that!

  9. sati says:

    Great list! I hope your wishes come true. Especially the more time, there is never enough time for the movies! :(

  10. thedavidryan says:

    Cracking blog as usual. I especially agree with the Netflix gripe, the content on the UK version is shocking and the US service even has more British content than the UK one! Bah humbug indeed.

    • Thanking you kindly!

      I don’t get why the US one has so much more content. I know it’s been around longer and is more established but it’s the same company, so why can’t they just import the content over. There must be reasons, licensing or something, I guess. Humbug indeed!

  11. Mark Walker says:

    I’m with you on this one Chris.
    Santa… Get your shit together man! ;-)

  12. Nice list, man! Ditto on 1, 3 and 4!

  13. Beer Movie says:

    This one might be a little controversial, but I wish for no more hackneyed 99%/OWS references in films. Just never works for me.

    • I’m sure I’m being a complete klutz here but I’m gonna have to ask you what you mean by that. In my defence, I’ve not long woke up :-)

      • Beer Movie says:

        Haha, I may have not been that clear. Both The Dark Knight Rises and Skyfall (films I both loved , one of which I’m pretty sure will be in my top 5 for the year) Felt the need to connect their stories to the whole Occupy Wall Street thing. And I just thought it added nothing to those films whose universe should be well outside of that.

        Plus I’ve seen a couple of trailers I’ve seen recently look like they will continue this tradition on next year.

      • Aha I see, I did wonder if it was an Occupy Wall Street thing! I do agree with you there. It seems a lot of film makers are jumping on the whole audience paranoia of the current poor economic climate. This kind of thing always happens in film though, whenever there is global paranoia about something, loads of films suddenly include it as a topic. Happened with the two world wars, nuclear threats, global warming, etc. It can be done to death if not careful though.

  14. cinenemablog says:

    Hi,

    I nominated you for my Versatile Blogger Award ( http://cinenematoblog.com/2012/12/23/the-versatile-blogger-award-from-written-in-blood/) so be sure to check it out and make your picks!

    Cheers!

  15. ruth says:

    Hope Santa is good to you Tyler, may all your Christmas wishes come true man. I’d wish for Netflix dvd + streaming price come down to $9.99 again so I can subscribe again :D

  16. I Wanted The Kubrick Collection on The Blu-ray, Also. I Didn’t Get It. Maybe For My Birthday, Eh?! :) hehe You Sleep Well Tonight. Sometimes Santa Puts Stuff In The Mail, So You Get It On The 26th or The 27th or February 3rd. Santa’s Funny Like That. :D
    -BRAD

    • I love it when Santa does stuff like that! I’ve found that he also fills your shopping bags with stuff when you walk around the sales! Alas, I didn’t get the Kubrick boxset for Christmas but I may well have to treat myself to it to console myself when I go back to work!

  17. Couldn’t have said it better myself! Hope you had a great Christmas, here’s to a great cinema-going 2013.

  18. Could’t agree with you more on point number one! The number of miles I’ve had to travel to see some of the year’s best films is beyond a joke, if only the big cinemas would sort this out they’d have a lot more happy cinema goers.

    • Yeah it definitely my biggest annoyance, although as someone pointed out to me, if the big cinemas did show everything, there wouldn’t be the need for smaller, independent cinemas, which would be a shame. Still annoying having to travel so far though, I hate having to wait for DVD to see stuff!

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