5 Films That Have Better Sex Scenes Than Fifty Shades of Grey

Things are getting a little steamy here with this guest post from my good pal Ruth from the really rather good Crown Rules. Discussion and videos here are of a very adult nature so if you’re a child or prefer to veer away from such talk, heed the warning! If you like a bit of the ol’ slap and tickle, however, do read on…

With a teaser trailer that looked like the world’s weirdest adverts for ties and a novel based on a teen series of Vampire books, Fifty Shades of Grey was never going to win me over. Since the film’s release on Valentine’s Day this year the overwhelming response to the ‘sex’ in it is that the two co-stars have zero on screen sizzle and the woman’s orgasm was, once again, omitted. Being a big fan of female pleasure (particularly my own) I thought it would be helpful for viewers to be exposed to a list of films that got sex scenes totally right. These scenes will leave you flustered, grabbing the sheets and enjoying a bit more ‘me time’ than usual. Let’s take a look at 5 Films That Have Better Sex Scenes than Fifty Shades of Grey and revel in their ecstasy.

Blue Valentine

 

The utter lad that is Ryan Gosling kicked off when Blue Valentine was going to be released without the now infamous oral sex scene. He was outraged that the film was going to receive an adult rating (in America) just because it showed a woman enjoying oral sex. It baffles me just as much as it baffles Gosling that this is still seen as something women should be ashamed of. The clitoris’s only function is pleasure – that is literally all it is – a load of nerve endings. Got an issue with that? Take it up with The Gosling Committee for The Female Orgasm, I’m pretty sure he’s responsible for a few of them anyway.

Young Adult

Charlize Theron in Young Adult

‘Better’ in the context of this post, doesn’t necessarily mean ‘sexier’ and Young Adult is a glowing example of this. This sex scene is realistic. It’s cringe-worthy accurate. I think the scene officially had me when Theron takes off her all-in-one dress and reveals her completely strapless bra. Those bad boys just wiggle there as she tries not to cry. That moment is so tender that it almost made me forget about the great sex scene that followed with Patton Oswalt. It’s raw, vulnerable and a little bit too familiar, what a great bit of film making.

Secretary

This is the Mr Grey you want to be watching. James Spader is a naughty, naughty man in this film and Gyllenhaal needs to stop being so Maggie the whole damn time. They’re so good together it’s like a lesson in on screen chemistry. Never has the pencil skirt been worn better and never has a Lawyer been more intolerable, both of which are big claims to fame. You’ll never hear the lines “Just one scoop of cream potatoes, a slice of butter and four peas” the same way again. Who knew such ordinary food could be made so extraordinary with the power of the female orgasm?

Y Tu Mamá También

The Oscar nominated Spanish film, Y Tu Mamá También, won lots of acclaim for its presentation of sex between two young men and a much older woman. I’ve got a soft spot of Gael García Bernal so anything that has him in it naked for 90% of the film is going to win me over. From the pool diving board masturbation scene to the steamy back car scene this film has sex in many forms, however, it’s the sex that changes the boy’s relationship that really stole my attention. They both kiss in a heated moment and it changes their friendship into something neither is comfortable to recognise. It’s a beautiful moment and something that should be looked at more in sex scenes; the changing moment, the catalyst for something new.

Blue is the Warmest Colour

Blue is the Warmest Colour

Apparently, if you want to portray sex realistically then it helps to have blue in the title. Blue is the Warmest Colour is an honest representation of a gay female relationship and the intensity that comes from your first flush of a new experience. Released only last year this film heralds a new approach to sexual representation in film. Too often gay female relationships are portrayed for a male audience, but in Blue is The Warmest Colour it feels as though a new level of honesty is achieved. It’s a film about finding yourself and discovering what it is you like and love. This is something that is symbolically shared with Fifty Shades of Grey, however, it is Blue is The Warmest Colour that shows the beating heart of this decision making.

Ruth Hartnoll is a full time copywriter, part time queen at www.crownrules.uk and obsessive theatre & poetry enthusiast. She adores animated characters, particularly female, and encourages all women and girls to go and to have lots of naughty fun – if the boys are doing it, we can do it better. Adventure is out there! Follow Ruth on Twitter here and check out her previous article on 7 of her favourite animated female characters.

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32 thoughts on “5 Films That Have Better Sex Scenes Than Fifty Shades of Grey

  1. Brittani says:

    Great post! I’m sure all these are better than anything 50 shades had to offer. The controversy around Blue Valentine when it was released bothered me so much. Especially since Black Swan got away with it just because it was two women and the scene switched back and froth between them.

  2. theipc says:

    I’ll have to check these out when I feel the need to seduce myself.

  3. elina says:

    Oh, I absolutely agree with this! Blue is The Warmest Colour still haunts me, because while it was indescribably awkward to watch in the cinema with senior couples sitting on both sides of me, it was also so raw, a whole new level of those kinds of scenes. Great post!

  4. V says:

    Yes, yes, yes. Great list. And Secretary over 50 Shades every damn day of the week.

  5. Thanks for all the comments guys! These are some of my favourite films to ‘seduce myself’ to. Well worded! Blue is The Warmest Colour needs to stop. Those scenes are more than full on and it had me from the get go. So. Well. Acted.

  6. crownrules says:

    Thanks so much for all the comments guys! Blue is The Warmest Colour had me in bits. Those sex scenes need to stop it. So. Well. Acted.

  7. table9mutant says:

    Great post! Ugh – I’ve not seen Fifty Shades & have zero interest in ever seeing it. I have, however, seen the two “Blue” movies & thought they were great. Ridiculous that they wanted to leave that scene out of Blue Valentine! The only one I’ve not seen here is Y Tu Mama Tambien. I really want to now! : )

  8. crownrules says:

    Woops that comment posted twice – my bad! Go watch Y Tu Mama – those boys get up to naughty things. You will thank me for it ‘after’. 🙂

  9. Was hoping someone might write a review like this! Glad you picked out Secretary; a great little movie. Fun read mate.

  10. ‘the great sex scene that followed with Patton Oswalt’

    I think that might put me off sex for good!

    • ruth says:

      Ahahahaha, somehow I knew someone’s gonna comment on Oswalt.

      Some older movies like Body Heat & Sliver have some REALLY steamy scenes. I reckon ANYTHING would be better than Fifty Shades because our brain is the sexiest part of our body and terrible writing just ain’t sexy!!

    • crownrules says:

      Haha – ‘great’ meaning honest. Even the Oswalts of this world need some sexy time. 🙂

  11. Abbi says:

    I totally need to see Y Tu Mamá También. That sounds epic!

  12. ninvoid99 says:

    OK, now those I can definitely agree with. Those were absolute turn-ons.

  13. mettelray says:

    Y Tu Mama Tambien.. oh man oh man.. I like Bernal and Luna a lot and that was just like.. the cherry on top. To know that they are best friends in real life makes that scene even hotter, though I can’t remember exactly what I read about one of them saying about that kissing scene.. I think the word awkward was used. 😀

  14. Zoë says:

    Excellent post here, I thoroughly enjoyed it! The Gosling Committee for The Female Orgasm?! LOL! I cannot say that I was remotely interested in Fifty Shades whatsoever, but it has generated a slew of awesome posts, rants, and lists!

  15. Great post! I need to watch all of these…quite ashamed I’ve not seen Blue is the Warmest Colour yet!

  16. Glad to see everyone’s enjoying Ruth’s article. You mucky lot, you.

  17. samuelstrader4491 says:

    I was hoping that MacGruber would have made the list. Maybe next time! Ruth did say the scene didn’t necessarily need to be sexy.

  18. vinnieh says:

    Very interesting and well-written post.

  19. I haven’t seen Fifty Shades of Grey (and won’t), but I fully agree that the five films you listed use sex in a very important way. I so appreciate the realism in that Young Adult scene.

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